ATTENTION!

Welcome to [www.mem0rieSs-life.blogspot.com] !
This is MY blog.
Normally, i will post negative things so, bear with me.
hmmm, will post how i feel here and wont be able to upload picture everytime.

Press profile to know me much MORREEEEEEE ~~!!!

Enjoy your time at my blog.
AND theres something wrong with my com so my blog will be messy.
Click the red cross on your top right corner or alt+F4 to leave.
If you really have to. :x

My name is eMilyت.
Blow candles out on every 21 OCT ♥.
SCHOOL: TANGLIN SEC [TSS] CCA: DANCE ^^ I shall say everything i know about myself here.

favs colours: black,red,blue.
i like to draw but not good in it. i like to listen to music♫♪ ♫.
i would like to spend the night at the beach lying down and look at the stars with someone that im not afraid to tell her/him every of my secrets.
sometimes i like being in the room, lights off, ear plugs on and listen to the music. sometimes i might recall some of the memories.

I DISLIKE people to put all the blame on me when i did nothing wrong.
- people to keep scold people 'bitch,sluts,whoe'. scolding all this dont make you more 'high-class'
- people to used me,make fun of my friends.
- people who reply sms using '-.-,lol,orh'
- noise that could make me explode and shout.
- people who spoil the fun.
- people who say and act differently.

the family member that i dislike > eldest brother & maybe my dad. {they are like the same-.-}
im quite a weird person, i have split personality i guess. Also im a very emotional person as well.
im not a fan of any idols or would crazy over any idol, i think i like show luo cause of his humor.
i realize i like anime. maybe it was her that got me to realize.
and it was her who kinda walk me out in that frienship that i was never meaant to be in.
Towards friends, they are my weakness. i dont know if i put friends 1st or family. Always have a thinking that if one day leave the school without saying anything, what will happen,will the ones that i care contact me?. heh, weird huh?

Some of the things that people do i can easily get influenced. i always think too much. have no courage at all, no self-confidence.
i can get angry or irritating out of the sudden. And i can be jealous thinking e.g why is she so close with her and im not?. something like that but of cause i wouldn't tell anyone. not bg relationship just jealous about friendship.
why do i want to be helpful? friendly? nice? to those friends that didnt think properly before they act. and it hurt me in the end?!! its better to show that you care then hide that you care because if i know you care i would feel so upset think you treat me as nothing.

DaNce> i dont like dancing but i joined cause the friends i know agreed to join.And its the group to be as united as can be!
i love most of my juniors i think. when i joke they laugh most of the time.
i like to joke. i only joke with pacific group of people. Most of them where my cousin and juniors. friends? have, with those 3 ppeople im currently with during school hours. :D loads of laughters.
there are another 3 friends that i care about. i need not to say who is it but just guess it.

THAT IS ALL I CAN SAY. I HOPE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ME MORE THEN YOU USED TO. THERE MORE THEN 400 WORDS I THINK. HAHAH!! CAN DONT READ IT!! JUST WRITE FOR NOTHING!!

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MICHL EUNICE NIKO IRENE nobody nobody nobody
nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody

Archives → December 2010 → January 2011 → February 2011 → March 2011 → April 2011 → May 2011 → July 2011 → November 2011 → December 2011

I've stop using blog here. It's has changed to http://when-im-alive.blogspot.com/
But I won't really blog much

New blog at www.when-Im-alive.blogspot.com

New life..

I'm going to change myself. I have decide. But I don't want to be selfish. It makes me feel so much worse if I feel that I'm being selfish..
I want to change because I'm tired to cry everyday. Being paranoid. I know why but yet I choose to think so negative and stay at where I fall because someone just let me go unexpectedly. I remain where I fall now I'm trying to stand. Though now. I feel so stuffy. I don't know why. When I feel this stuffiness, it make me wanna think of thing that could make me cry..
These day, when hearing my own laughter.. It seems so fake. When I laugh I laugh so loud that when I hear I think that I was faking to laugh real happy.. I imagine how things would be much better, much happier if that person didn't let go of me just yet. Wait until it's tome to leave let me go I would feel better than this. From the moment that person let me go, I have been scared, sad to stand.. All this while I keep feeling upset.. Until recently the feeling became stronger. Worse. And it forced me to think of stand up. But it hurts so much. The wound that was created when I fall. It's still bleeding.. Whatever it is. You are the only one who can let me feel better. But i know you will not do anything..


When I post something here I'm just venting. And maybe saying what I feel but I shouldn't say.
And I know not alot people will come so I post it.

For Some reason. I don't wanna go school. Because I don't wanna see my friends. But yet if I'm all alone at home I feel to alone that nobody care..
You. Why? I wonder if you are part of making me feel like this. I am trying to lie to myself. I don't care. Trying to lie to my other friends I don't care.
My thinking never changed. I still hope to be sick just to get attention. And I wondered if you would care or not. I really want to kmow..

I hate of who I am. Why am I so paranoid. Why do I always feel sad.
Why have I before so god damm selfish? Why do i feel that I am pretending.
Pretending to be nice.. Why am I so short tempered. Why am so hot tempered.
Who am I? Who Are you? I have change so much that everyday it's getting worse.

I can't keep everything inside. So I use this useless blog to vent..

Okay..
I sucks. I hate myself for thinking rubbish. I hate it. The OLD me is totally coming back again.
Why do I feel so upset about? I don't understand myself.
Why? What am I so down about? Why am I crying about? Why?
I keep crying this few days. Now my tears doesn't worth anymore.
Everything is upsetting me.
You and you are the main one. But another you. You just make me a lil upset.
Cause I wanted to talk to you but I don't know how to and you dint talk to me. And I'm
Being very very very paranoid.. But it's not your fault is my own fault.

And selina* I hate you.. Why are you doing this to me? I don't understand.
Why? I seriously hate it. I'm making myself all so short tempered recently.
I hate myself now. I'm short tempered I'm hot tempered I'm sad..
My chest is so stuffy that I feel like suffocating..
You are different.. I dislike the fact. All we can really chat about is cca..
Tried to talk to you. (asking a question) but your reply was so... Kill me man..
I need to lock my heart lock my mind. Why do I have this character..
Bye