Sunday, July 31, 2011 @ 6:29 AM

I'm going to change myself. I have decide. But I don't want to be selfish. It makes me feel so much worse if I feel that I'm being selfish..
I want to change because I'm tired to cry everyday. Being paranoid. I know why but yet I choose to think so negative and stay at where I fall because someone just let me go unexpectedly. I remain where I fall now I'm trying to stand. Though now. I feel so stuffy. I don't know why. When I feel this stuffiness, it make me wanna think of thing that could make me cry..
These day, when hearing my own laughter.. It seems so fake. When I laugh I laugh so loud that when I hear I think that I was faking to laugh real happy.. I imagine how things would be much better, much happier if that person didn't let go of me just yet. Wait until it's tome to leave let me go I would feel better than this. From the moment that person let me go, I have been scared, sad to stand.. All this while I keep feeling upset.. Until recently the feeling became stronger. Worse. And it forced me to think of stand up. But it hurts so much. The wound that was created when I fall. It's still bleeding.. Whatever it is. You are the only one who can let me feel better. But i know you will not do anything..


When I post something here I'm just venting. And maybe saying what I feel but I shouldn't say.
And I know not alot people will come so I post it.